Have Your Heart Broken

I am going to get a little deeper than usual today because a certain topic has been playing through my mind lately- heartbreak. I am a strong believer that God will never give us something we can not handle, which is why I take my personal heartbreak as more of a gift than anything. I think that at one point or another, heartbreak is inevitable and necessary.

As I watch people around me suffer from heartache, I realize that each person needs to face their own battles before they can truly appreciate love and thankfulness. 4 years ago I experienced a terrible breakup, I won’t go into detail because it doesn’t mean much to me anymore, but I am beyond thankful that it happened. I was ready to commit to a life that I didn’t love with a person I only thought I loved. I was in a rush for things to happen, and didn’t think about what I truly wanted in life.

I have always set goals for myself, and at that time I let them fall to the wayside. Until the day I was blindsided and my life completely changed. After this heartbreak, I was torn apart for a little bit, then I began to move on. It felt great in the end, I was able to focus more on myself and decide what I really wanted to do and who I wanted to be.

While I was figuring these things out, I found Dave. I didn’t plan on being in another relationship for quite a long time, I was honestly totally happy on my own. At this point, he was also. He had been through the ringer with girls as well, and had the same feelings of not needing another person to make him happy. We kept telling ourselves this for months, while in our heads we were clearly falling in love. Weekly we would talk about getting into a relationship and it the end we would both say we didn’t want one. These began to happen more often, as both of us knew we couldn’t hid it for much longer.

The our first kiss happened, which I wrote about here. After that night we couldn’t help but continue to fall in love. Even though we were together, we both had our guards up from previous heartbreaks. In my opinion, this helped us. We knew how to relate to each other better, we felt more cautious, and we could already see the differences from our failed pasts.

Because of the way my previous relationship ended, I could see huge differences in my new one, and I knew how to react to things better. I also knew how completely different I felt and how I instantly knew Dave would be the one. Some people stay in their first relationship for their entire lives, and I am in no way saying that is wrong, in fact I think it is great! But, I like to know from previous experience that I am 100% with the right person, I have no doubts what so ever that I feel completely different and instead of just loving someone and my relationship with them, I am in love with Dave.

In the end, I just want to point out that everything happens for a reason. Everything you go through will help you become the person you are meant to be. Even through heartache, mistakes, and interruptions, life still happens.

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Facing Fears

Recently, in the office we were talking about facing your fears. There were about a half dozen of us talking and all of us feared something different. We also all had a different perspective on how exactly we could face our fears. It’s crazy how something as general as this topic could sprout so many different options, and really prove how different everyone is. I wouldn’t say I am a very fearful person, but the things I am afraid of, I am really afraid of. It’s something I plan on working on, and I have a few ways to try and do it, but some of them will just take time.

My biggest fear is spiders. I know, this isn’t really a huge deal for some people, and a good amount of people don’t like them but I fear them to no end. One time a large spider crawled next to my desk and I started hysterically crying, sat on top of my desk and it was really hard to breathe. Why does this happen? Why am I so afraid of something so much smaller than me (this one wasn’t that much smaller though)? It was a terrible experience, and I was so scared and shaken up that I didn’t even get embarrassed that I just had a major meltdown in front of my coworkers.

Another fear I have is a pretty weird one, bandaids. I HATE them, they really freak me out. It isn’t as much of a fear as it is purely disgusting, but I really will lose it if one touches me. I feel the same way about those weird character sticker packs and the ones in coloring books. I don’t like them one bit. Sorry future children, they aren’t coming into our house.

A more personal fear I have is having children. I have had some health problems for the last 7 years, and there is a big possibility it could hinder my ability to have children. Coming from a big family, I have always known that I want my own children, and I want the feeling of being able to carry them myself. There are women daily that fight the battle of infertility, and I feel for them so much. It breaks my heart reading of their stories and constant pain. I just need to remind myself that God will never give me something I can’t handle.

Do you have any big fears?

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Taking Stock for Post Number 200!

This is my 200th post on this little blog here, I can’t believe it has almost been a year since I started this page and I have actually stuck with it! I love having a slice of the internet that is my own, and getting to know so many new people! I have seen this post floating around through blogland, so it’s about time I take part. As I try to get caught up on so many things, it is nice to reflect on how life is going lately, here it goes.

Making : to-do lists. Aren’t I always!

Cooking : not as often as I should be

Drinking : water, like I should be but I wish it was a margarita

Reading: the Best of Me, I am a sucker for Nicholas Sparks

Wanting: to have one more day with my Uncle John and Mr. Bob

Looking: forward to Halloween with some of my closest friends

Playing: with SharkBait

Wasting: time when I should be focusing on things I need to get done

Sewing: my halloween costume

Wishing: I was a little more caught up on house things, fall decorations and spending time with my family (never enough of this)

Enjoying: spending evenings with Dave in our house

Waiting: for Once Upon a Time to be on again, one episode just wasn’t enough last week (I am obsessed)

Liking: the way life has been going lately

Wondering: if we really will move after our wedding

Loving: Jesus, Dave, my family, my friends, shark bait & the Ravens

Hoping: to launch our website soon

Marveling: at how quickly this year has been flying by. Time does get faster as you get older

Needing: a massage, weddings should come with monthly massages

Smelling: pumpkin candles

Wearing: my favorite sweatpants, my favorite shirt (it used to be my grandfathers) and shark socks

Noticing: how much Dave cares about everyone he comes in contact with. I am so blessed to have found such a loving guy

Knowing: that I need to get back into my fitness routine

Thinking: about how I need to make a dentist appointment

Feeling: tired

Bookmarking: this article about the Ravens

Opening: my fantasy football page

Giggling: about SharkBait and Dave’s interactions

The post was originally found here.

Happy Sunday!

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About A Necklace…

I have never been much of a “jewelry person”. I’ve always been about the simple necklace that I can put on and hardly ever take off, until lately. The whole statement necklace thing has really caught my eye, and I am slowly switching things up a bit. The only problem with this is I never know which necklace to pair with what, or which colors I should purchase.

This is where Stella & Dot comes in (and no, I was not compensated for this post, or even told you post about it, I just really love their products!). I had a Margarita Monday girls night last week and had a friend of mine that sells Stella & Dot bring her goodies over so we could all get paired with amazing jewelry, have some girl time, and sip on some great drinks.

Since I can’t do any of that with all of you 😦 I thought I would at least share a quick story about Stella & Dot. The reason I love them so much is because of the story behind their company. The CEO started a few wedding websites, and then decided she wanted to do something that could benefit different types of women. She wanted to help people have financial freedom, while managing children’s activity schedules, spending time with their significant others, making meals, etc. She has done that and more!

Something else that inspires me is the work Stella & Dot does for Breast Cancer. They have an adorable elephant bracelet out right now and all proceeds go towards Susan G. Komen. I am truely inspired by this story, and I hope you are as well! What an amazing vision and successful thing to do! Now if I can follow in her footsteps and make my career dreams come true!

If you are interested in Stella & Dot, let me know! I’m not a representative for them, but I know a great person that is (she also doesn’t even know I am writing this). It really is an amazing company, and they have beautiful products! They also have the cutest engraveable’s, I can’t wait to have one with my wedding date on it.

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Hopes & Plans

Of course I can’t sleep tonight, so I figured I would do the link-up today after all. It’s been a long day, but I love keeping track of my weekly progress, so here I am.

Last week-

1) Hang New Pictures- I had some of our engagement photos printed and I can’t wait to hang them! We have a gallery wall in the living room, so I would love to add a few more this week. I also want to add some more of Dave and his family now that it’s our house and not just mine. This still needs to be done 😦

2) Post 1st Jamaica Recap- I have several ideas of posts after our vacation, it was so inspiring. I want to start with a general recap of our trip, then about what to do and not do, what you need to pack, and a review of the resort (we LOVED it!!). Can;t believe I haven’t gotten to this yet!

3) Schedule a Dentist Appt.- I got new insurance several months ago and my old dentist is not included, so I need to find a new one and make an appointment. I keep putting this off because I don’t exactly love the dentist. Nope 😦 I need more than 7 days in a week!

4) Workout Everyday I am Away- I am heading to Chicago for a work trip on Wednesday and I won’t be home until very late Friday evening. I need to make sure I work out everyday that I am away so I can stay awake and alert during the conference. I am also going to try and eat healthy, but last time I was in Chicago I had the most amazing dessert dumplings and I think I need a few more. Maybe I will run to get them and then run back?   Boom!The hotel gym was 24 hours so I was able to get a workout in everyday I was there.

5) Find Shoes For Our Engagement Party- YAY! Our friends are throwing us an engagement party this weekend and I would love new shoes to go with my dress. I know exactly what I want, but I’m not having any luck finding them. I may have to go with ones I already own, although I would love to find the ones I have been thinking about! I was able to wear shoes I already owned, but I did find shoes for our reception! The ones I wanted had been discontinued, but guess who found them in Nordstrom Rack in Chicago..boom…this girl!

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This Week-

Since I wasn’t able to get 3 things done that I wanted to last week, I am bringing them back this week.

1) Hang New Pictures- It will get done this week! I just need to find the stuff to hang them with.

2) Post 1st Jamaica Recap- I have no idea how I haven’t done this yet…but it’s coming!

3) Schedule a Dentist Appt.- This really needs to happen. I just need a reminder!

4) Get Things Ready For Saturday- Almost all of my Bridesmaids will be in town this weekend for dress shopping! I have something for them, I just need to make sure they all get finished in time!

5) Decide on my Halloween Costume- There are so many options, I need to pick which two I want to be, get everything to make them and sit down and do it!

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Not The Weekend To Be In Chicago…

I am going to do my normal Hopes & Plans post tomorrow, so I am able to share the madness that was my weekend. Last week I spent a few days in Chicago for a conference, and everything was set for me to arrive home Friday evening in time for our party on Saturday. Then around 8 am someone asked me how I was getting home with all of the cancelations…whattt.

I’m sure most of you heard that the Chicago airports were shut down on Friday into Saturday because of a fire at the control tower. Well this threw the city into chaos, or at least the people planning on leaving that day. The craziest part of this was that the fire happened around 6am, and Southwest didn’t email me until almost 11am to inform me of a cancelled flight. Luckily, I had already booked a car because we were preparing to drive 12 hours home.

I was already set into a mild panic attack because of the thought of possibly missing my own engagement party, and then my mom called with terrible news about my Grandfathers best friend. This man has been in my life since I was born, he was just like a grandfather to me, and I have countless memories with him. I was heartbroken, nervous and sad that I could not be with my family right away.

We set out to start driving, and ended up back in Baltimore around 2am Saturday morning. Luckily, our party was a blast and I can’t wait to tell you all more about it. We went to visit our friend in the hospital Sunday morning, and I am so happy we did. He passed away during the night, and the next few days are going to be a whirlwind. I am so thankful for the time I have had with him, and I know he will now be able to see my Uncle John again in Heaven.

If you pray, please pray for us during this difficult time, if you believe in sending good vibes, or other things like that, please do that as well.

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Hopes & Plans

I can’t believe it has already been two weeks since I last posted my Hopes & Plans! As happy as I am to be linking up again, I am so sad to be back in the USA. I can’t wait to share some of my vacation with you, but for now here is how I did with my Hopes & Plans from two weeks ago!

1) Clean Eating- I have been doing SO well! only 6 more days until vacation, and then I am going to switch it up a little bit to get more toned for our wedding!  DONE! I successfully did this for our vacation, and I will continue to work on it until our wedding…maybe just not as crazy.

2) Actually Finished The Bedroom- I will finally hang the cord management covers, and hang the shelves on Dave’s side of the room. The room still looks like a bit of a shrine to all of my things. Halfway done! The cord management is finished, but the shelves are not hung…we will get there!

3) Schedule Posts- Since this is only halfway done, I would love to get Social Media tweets scheduled before vacation. I will need to find time for this in between packing and day-dreaming of sitting on a beach sipping amazing adult-beverages. I was so proud of myself for getting this totally done with a few days to spare before leaving. Now if I could just keep up and do it once a week!

4) Finish The Living Room- We got new sofas yesterday, so now we need to get rid the old ones, sell or donate all of the clothes piling up by the door and switch out the entertainment system. I have been trying to sell our old one for about a month but nobody wants it 😦 If it wasn’t 200 lbs I would put it out with the trash! Our old sofas have sold, we gave my old dresser (it was sitting in the living room for a month) to my parents, and now we NEED to get rid of the entertainment system!

5) Enjoy An Amazing Vacation- Since the next time I will be doing this link-up is 2 weeks away and I will have already had a great trip, I figure it’s fine to add this to the list this week. CHECK. CHECK. CHECK. We had a blast!!

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This Week:

1) Hang New Pictures- I had some of our engagement photos printed and I can’t wait to hang them! We have a gallery wall in the living room, so I would love to add a few more this week. I also want to add some more of Dave and his family now that it’s our house and not just mine.

2) Post 1st Jamaica Recap- I have several ideas of posts after our vacation, it was so inspiring. I want to start with a general recap of our trip, then about what to do and not do, what you need to pack, and a review of the resort (we LOVED it!!).

3) Schedule a Dentist Appt.- I got new insurance several months ago and my old dentist is not included, so I need to find a new one and make an appointment. I keep putting this off because I don’t exactly love the dentist.

4) Workout Everyday I am Away- I am heading to Chicago for a work trip on Wednesday and I won’t be home until very late Friday evening. I need to make sure I work out everyday that I am away so I can stay awake and alert during the conference. I am also going to try and eat healthy, but last time I was in Chicago I had the most amazing dessert dumplings and I think I need a few more. Maybe I will run to get them and then run back?

5) Find Shoes For Our Engagement Party- YAY! Our friends are throwing us an engagement party this weekend and I would love new shoes to go with my dress. I know exactly what I want, but I’m not having any luck finding them. I may have to go with ones I already own, although I would love to find the ones I have been thinking about!

I hope you are all having a wonderful Monday, and happy (mehhh) almost fall!

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